Talking and Listening

Often a woman becomes irritated when she shares her emotions and problems with his man and the man offers solutions, interrupting her. Why? If she doesn’t want solutions then why she is sharing her problem with you?

When it comes to talking with women, many men do initiate a conversation but soon runs out of topic to continue the conversation and goes silent. This is not a very uncommon scenario. Men were never good conversationalist at least when compared with women. We have often witness that in a group of both men and women, women do most of the talking while men don’t. It may seem that the men are silent in compared to the girls. But why is it so? Why men aren’t as good conversationalist as women are?

  
In men, speaking and language skills are operated in the rear part of left hemisphere of the brain while front part of left hemisphere and few portions in right hemisphere in case of women. MRI scan shows that male has few hot spots for speech function in compared to women who have quite large number of brain activity in both the hemisphere. The involvement of both the hemisphere during conversation for women unlike men makes them a great conversationalist. Even it is seen that on Valentine Day or on any birthday, men usually browses for cards, which have lots of words in it as they find it difficult to express in form of words. That’s why men find it very difficult to propose a girl as they fish for words but the same was never a problem for any women to express.

But why talking is so important? Talking with partners strengthen the bond between the partners. It not only allows an individual to know more about his/her partner but also deepens a relationship. Men’s brain is made in such a way by nature that they can store and lock everything away and never get bothered. But for women the same is not true. Everything that is in her mind keep troubling her till she has shared with someone. However when a woman shares her problems and emotions, it’s because she need to discharge whatever was troubling her. She neither wants any kind of interruptions or solutions. She just wants a good listener. And men fail in that too. They judge everything by logic and thus they make a woman irritated by interrupting her and offering her solutions.

Why men don’t like to talk or talk less? From the primeval time, men evolved as hunters, guardians, and problem solvers. They were the ones on whom the whole family was dependent and if he was afraid or shows anxiety then his nest would be chaotic with fear. Thus, they controlled their emotions of fear and anxiety and used to hide his fear by least talking. Even in this 21^st century, men are still the same even though their occupation has changed. When they are asked to solve a problem, they excuse themselves to get time to think with his power of logic and reasoning with an expressionless face. It is only after they have found a solution they seem to have an animated face, as they are ready to communicate. When a man is sitting idle or as it may seem he is, actually he is preoccupied with thoughts. Men are likely to talk silently and mostly with themselves. If they are interrupted, they get annoyed, as they feel disturbed in their thinking process and of course, men can’t do two things at a time.

Talking less for men was never a difficulty. However, a man not communicating with his partner on regular basis might make the charm in their relationship go away and his partner can easily feel unloved. Women talks only to strengthen and deepen the relationship. Thus, if a man wants to get well along with a woman, he needs to learn to talk.

 

Again, women need to verify their way of talking with men. When a woman shares her emotions or problems maybe on friendly basis, men interpret in a wrong way. The man presumes that the women are ‘damsels in distress. The man tends to think that the woman is only giving him a list of problems to solve.

Therefore, in a relationship it is very important for men to understand that women will talk to share her emotions but solutions to problems are not always required. Most of the problems will solve if a man can listen more and never interrupts a woman who is speaking. Women too need to understand that when a man wants solitude, it’s not because there is something wrong but they need to think about everything that he’s experiencing. Giving them that privacy will not only increase the respect a man has for his woman but also they will get along beautifully with each other.